Friday, November 20, 2009

Shopping for that special someone

There's only 5 weeks till Christmas and I've yet to spend the consumer average of $831 on Christmas presents! Talk about pressure. And with no snow on the ground, how does anyone expect me to even think of such things? I'm told that traffic at the malls in Winnipeg increases dramatically once it snows, as if all we are is a bunch of Pavlov's dogs that don't have the sense to simply look at a calendar and make plans. Or is it that we simply must have snow for Christmas shopping in the same way we expect there to be unshelled peanuts sold at a wrestling match or something is seriously wrong?

So in an effort to promote some good old fashioned consumerism this Christmas season, I've found ten inspiring ads that may give you some fresh ideas for the loved ones on your list (they can be clicked on to read the small print).

And I'm thinking, that guy should be the president of the most powerful nation on earth.

Why does it look like that Santa was found in a back lane somewhere? Well, if I know someone with a scratchy throat, I now know what to get.

what I'm hoping for in my stocking. Sammy sure seems like he was hoping for some.

This is for those who can't afford to buy someone a Mac notebook.

Enough with that clean, digital iPod sound in which you can't even hear the scratchy friction of a piece of wire scraping across a sheet of vinyl! What's wrong with kids these days? At prices like that, go retro!

Wow. Like, what are they really trying to encourage here? I may be reading too much into this, but is there a hint of malice in that ad?

Now why does the look in that kid's eyes not go too well with the gun that's in his hands?

That lady does indeed look happy. Way too happy.

Aside from gift #10 below, this is the best gift any man could get his wife. I mean, talk about functionality! It's sure to be needed and she'll be sure to use it! I'm thinking I'm ready to pop over to Walmart any moment now.

And this is an obvious choice for that special someone in your life. The small print says, "This year, there is no gift like Borg's magnificent bath scale... the 'Flight'." Yeah, you can bet I'll be flying. Right out the door if I give this to my wife. Did women in the '50s actually want these kinds of gifts at Christmas? Was it actually okay to give a gift that said, "Hey, maybe you need to shed a few pounds!"?

Well, there you have it. Ten great gift ideas. Happy consuming!

© 2009 by Ken Peters


Ben Neufeld said...

I'm so encouraged and inspired.

Ken said...

Glad to give you some cheer Ben!

Eileen said...

I love the vacuum cleaner and the ironing board - they would sure make Christmas fun!!!

Aaron Wiebe said...

My Mother always said to us growing up (with a look that could blister paint off a wall),"No appliances on Mother's Day, or my Birthday!" Then she would smile and say, "But Christmas is always fair game."

Ken said...

Wow. Then I'll feel free to get Fiona a vacuum cleaner and my mother-in-law an ironing board!

Aaron Wiebe said...

Wait! No that's only MY mom. I hope I posted in time?

Terry said...

I think this is essentially what's wrong with our society ... our wives aren't happy with nice practical gifts anymore and we as men don't get guns.

It's time to turn the tide ... I'm getting Car the bathroom scale (if anyone says it's because of the pregnancy it's not ... it's about a philisophical change in how we do Christmas!) and putting a handgun at the top of my list

Ken said...

I'm with you Terry!
I'm getting Fiona the ironing board, but I want a case of Pall Malls from her.