I didn't want to begin this new year at a faith-deficit. But despite my best intentions, after watching my wife's troubled health go on for another year, I have to admit that I've found it difficult lately to continue believing for a miracle. Should I just let it go and simply learn to accept her illness as an unalterable reality? Or does God want me to still seek Him for the miraculous, trusting Him in how and when He answers?
And as I've considered all this, I began the year reading the Gospel of Luke. I was immediately faced with the familiar story of Zechariah and Elizabeth (a story I've referred to before in this blog). Though we're told "they were both righteous before God" (Luke 1:6), Zechariah sounds like he too had grown unexpectant of an answer to a long-sought-for prayer for his wife's barrenness to be healed. So much so, that he responded rather poorly when an angel actually showed up to tell him that his prayers were to be answered. Zechariah's response: "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years" (Luke 1:18). There was enough unbelief in his words -- and perhaps even his tone -- that the angel Gabriel struck him mute until the angel's words came to pass.
Imagine having so much skepticism or doubt that one would have the cheek to address an angel that way! Yet I can't help but wonder how much that sounds like me in how -- after all the years of disappointing test results -- I struggle with doubts as I read what the Bible says about healing. I feel like a "Yeah, right" has grown in my soul to do with Fiona's healing. And there's no way I want to go through 2010 with such unbelieving thoughts bouncing around in my head. God's plan may be to heal Fiona tomorrow. Is my response going to be, "How shall I know this? Prove it!"? No! Rather, I want God to help me to enter 2010 as expectant as I ever have been, eager for a miracle and trusting God in whatever He chooses to do! Just as C.S. Lewis says of Aslan, with God's timetable, all times are soon. And by God's grace, I will continue to hope and pray for a miracle for my beautiful wife and for anyone else I meet in need of a miracle!
© 2010 by Ken Peters
© 2010 by Ken Peters