In Memory of Consumers Distributing

Some of you may remember Consumers Distributing. It was a store that operated from 1957 to 1996 in which customers selected items from a store catalog instead of from store shelves, and employees would then go to a warehouse behind their counter to get any catalog items requested. I loved Consumers Distributing, and was sad when they closed. I used to eagerly page through the Consumers catalog, wishing I could afford so many of the things that I saw. I can fondly remember random items that I bought there: a baseball glove, a wall clock, a microwave cabinet, a floor lamp. And so many other things. I think I enjoyed shopping there because it was so easy to browse their entire stock as you just stood in one place and paged through their colourful catalog, knowing that whatever you found could immediately be brought out and presented to you like a gift (that you then had to pay for)! It was like Amazon before the internet and without the shipping fees! And just as Amazon aims to provide us with all that we want all on one website, Consumers Distributing tried to provide whatever any consumer might want all in one catalog.

All of these memories occurred to me this morning as I read Proverbs 23:23. "Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding." 

These are all invaluable items! Much more precious than baseball gloves and floor lamps. And it occurred to me that they're all readily available in the pages of one beautiful book that contains the words of God: the Bible! I can eagerly read my Bible knowing that every page is filled with truth and wisdom, instruction and understanding, and all of it is affordable because it's free! Isaiah wrote, "...he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price" (Isaiah 55:1). The food Isaiah spoke of was spiritual food. He went on to mention an "everlasting covenant" with God (55:3) in which we know that wine is symbolic of the shed blood of Jesus and milk represents the rich nourishment of God's Word. And it's all explained and made available in a book that has no product pictures, and yet is full of pictures for those who have eyes to see!

So as eager as I was to browse the Consumers Distributing catalog (and as eager as I may sometimes be to browse Amazon), I have so much more reason to be excited about reading God's Word. In the pages of my Bible are truth, wisdom, instruction and understanding; they are always in stock and always free. And the Holy Spirit is continually available as our teacher in these things (John 14:26), though He doesn't wait behind a counter to receive our requests as we find things – He comes right into our hearts to enlighten and encourage us as we read. So read eagerly, looking for all that is available and always free!

© 2016 by Ken Peters

Lessons learned from Japanese Economics

The other day, I was put in my place by such an accurately cut, well-fitting remark, that it left me with the feeling that I could see myself in a mirror in a brand new suit that I didn't want to buy. And yet I kept staring at it, fascinated by the fit.

It all happened on Facebook (oh-oh, some people are thinking). I made the mistake of commenting on someone else's comment on a news article on Japanese economics. Yes, that’s right, Japanese economics. Well, needless to say, my comment generated many comments aggressively contrary to mine, and yet I kept right on commenting, defending my little contribution on Japanese economics (yes, Japanese economics) until it began to feel like I was digging a hole for myself. It was then that the oh-so-fitting cutting remark was made. Just as my hole was approaching a depth of about six feet, someone replied with a few rebuttals, concluding with, "I don't mean to be rude, but your lack of clarity seeing the big picture is astounding."

Astounding.

I was dumb-struck. And embarrassed. And rightly so. My first impulse was to beat a hasty retreat from the conversation and hide in the digital bushes by temporarily putting my Facebook account to sleep. Ha! They'll never find me! I actually went through with that as though I thought that hiding my account from all those meanies would help somehow. It was then that, in my flustered embarrassment, I finally heard the Holy Spirit amidst it all. "That was Me," He said quietly.

What? "That was Me." Oh. I paused as that sank in. The next thing He said was, "Wouldn't it be better to repent and apologize rather than to put your Facebook account to sleep?" I cringed. But back I went, re-activating my account, and writing an apology for being so strident about something I clearly didn't understand.

Then I began to reflect on what I needed to learn from this! For example, don't mistake the few measly trees that I may know something about for the more complex forest that a discussion is actually about (or put more simply, don't profess to know something about something I know very little about).

But then the Lord widened the lens of this lesson by suggesting that perhaps this little episode is a reflection of how I approach life itself sometimes. He reminded me of a proverb I had recently felt inclined to memorize: "A man's steps are of the Lord; How then can a man understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24). Basically, what this verse tells me is that we don't see life from as good a vantage point as God does. We can't see as clearly as God can where our steps are leading or why things happen the way they do on any given day. And when we act as though the few circumstances we’re focused on must be indicative of His overall plans and intentions, or when we go so far as to insist on knowing more about His overall plan for our lives, we get into trouble. God simply doesn't feel obliged to always inform us of why He allows certain circumstances, or why He takes so long to answer certain prayers. As the God who oversees our steps, He doesn't feel the need to fill us in regarding every detail, or expect us to fully understand why everything happens the way it does in our lives. He simply expects us to humbly trust Him. But at times, we get anxious or frustrated or even upset with God regarding certain outcomes or timelines, and when we do, we’re basically telling God that we must understand what’s going on – He must give us details! That’s not how God Almighty operates. He doesn’t tell us everything, and not only can we not see the “big picture” of all that He's doing in our lives, but we’re not meant to. That’s why life with God is called a walk of faith. And that's why God can say to me (on various levels), "Your lack of clarity seeing the big picture is astounding – and you should get used to that."

Proverbs 16:9 is another verse that seems applicable: "The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps." That means that whatever we have in mind regarding the big picture of our life and however we want our life to go, it’s valuable to remember, if we're His son or daughter, God will be sure to direct our steps to what's best. That’s an encouraging thing to be assured of when living amidst circumstances that we don't understand!

So with that in mind, if the suit fits, wear it!

© 2016 by Ken Peters

THIS is the Prosperity Gospel we need!

Today I was reminded of how fabulously wealthy I am. I mean loaded! Like some carefree billionaire, I am so incredibly rich that I couldn't possibly spend all that I have! But unlike most billionaires, I'm capable of sitting among my piles of treasure while forgetting how incredibly rich I am.

Here's how I was reminded of all this: I was reading my Bible in Romans, chapter 10, and felt startled as I read the NKJV translation of Romans 10:12... "For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him." The ESV translates it as, "...bestowing his riches on all who call upon him." In other words, God makes us rich! It's as simple as that. So why aren't I rolling in dough?

Paul follows that verse with a clarification: "For whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved" (v.13). Those are the "riches" he's talking about! Any other riches this world has to offer don't matter too much to Paul. The world's finances are fickle and fleeting; here today, gone tomorrow. But the riches of salvation aren't like that. They're eternal, untouched by unstable economies and well guarded from greedy thieves.

After pausing at that verse, I wondered to myself, what are these "riches"? I felt forgetful of how extravagantly rich God is toward those who call on Him. So I looked around, and what I was reminded of left me feeling like a man standing among huge sparkling piles of gold coins and precious gems! Check out a few examples of how Paul describes the riches God bestows to us...

• "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

• "In him [Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace which he lavished on us" (Ephesians 1:7-8a)

• "so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:7)

• "To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." (Colossians 1:27)

• "that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ" (Colossians 2:2)

Is that enough? Because it's just the beginning! Father God has "blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 1:3). And "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence" (2 Peter 1:3)! Like I said, I am fabulously wealthy! You are too if you have called on the name of the Lord Jesus to be saved!

But just like the riches of this world must be pursued to be accumulated, so too must we pursue these spiritual riches if we want to enjoy them. Otherwise we end up as C.S. Lewis describes us in his book "The Weight of Glory": "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." If we do want to pursue spiritual riches, Paul is quite clear in the verses above about precisely where we can find them: in Christ, "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossisns 2:3).

To enjoy the riches of heaven means to pursue Jesus. He is the treasure we're blessed with; He is the Good News of the Gospel. And just like those who have accumulated the world's wealth are intentional and decisive with their resources, we too must be disciplined in seeking Jesus each day in prayer and by reading God's "living and active" Word (Hebrews 4:12), routinely storing it in our hearts by memorizing strategic Bible verses. But we don't do such things to simply tabulate how wealthy we are – we pray and read and memorize so that we can enjoy the very One who is our Treasure and who wants to lavish His treasures upon us.

The Gospel is like a lottery in which every person who has bought a ticket – the price being our lives (Galatians 2:20) – wins the jackpot: a new and abundant eternal life with Jesus! Riches are awarded to all! And it's okay to flaunt our wealth as long as it's by lavishly scattering the love and grace and kindness we've received among the people we're surrounded by! Our riches are not meant to be accumulated in heaps all around us. We ought to spend, spend, spend, with lives of kindhearted love, because there's no end to the incredible riches we've been blessed with!

© 2016 by Ken Peters

A Brand New Day

He arrived for his pre-op appointment in a hospital he'd never been to, in a city totally unknown to him, having no idea what to expect. And after quickly running through some introductory questions from a friendly receptionist, who obviously seemed much more at ease in this unfamiliar place than he was, off he was sent for various tests and samples. Basement level, turn left, then right, take a number, 2nd floor, another left, show your card, "did they call my name?", and everyone he met was new, necessary, and never to be seen again. It already felt a blur and an hour hadn't even passed. Now to get back to the pre-op unit. What floor was it on again? Everything was so new. And everything was turning out to be a lot. 

Once back at pre-op, he and his wife were taken to a sunshiny room, where plenty was asked about the past and about lately. It was a relief that amidst so many questions and directions, the people he met were so friendly. This time, he stayed in one place longer. Lots was explained. More than he'd remember. It was good his wife was here; she seemed to be following along better than him. Though they got his attention when there was talk of postponement! It seemed that there was an unusual backlog of patients in the hospital waiting for heart surgery. All non-urgent cases must wait! And a postponement could mean months. This was alarming. But as the orientation continued, there was not even time to send friends a prayer alert, for before he had the opportunity, the surgeon himself came in. 

This was something - to meet the man who might be exploring the inside of his heart tomorrow. What was he like? Throughout the conversation, this world-renowned surgeon's manner was gentle and kind, unhurried and curious. Yes, curious. He seemed genuinely interested in his new patient, asking questions that made him feel cared for as a person rather than just another mitral valve to be repaired. What had been a blur until then suddenly took on the nature of a snapshot - of a face, a smile, a handshake. Before the doctor left, he mentioned the pressure to postpone. He wouldn't allow it, he explained. We had come too far, and it wouldn't be right, he said. He was not only a surgeon; he was the CEO of the Heart Institute, and his word was final. We would proceed as planned. God had made a way. 

As the doctor finally left the room, his next morning's patient felt in good hands. How much time the entire appointment had taken in all of its components was hard to say, as the length seemed better measured in details and subjects rather than the racing units of an unseen clock. But eventually it seemed that there was no more left to explain, and he was expected back early tomorrow for surgery. He needed to be back at 6:00am. 

His mind spun as he walked with his wife back to their lodgings. Things that had once seemed so far away and theoretical were now very real and imminent. He was about to have open-heart surgery. "Thank you, Lord" was all he could think of quietly praying. Yet they now had time on their hands, and their daughter was there to do something fun with. So it seemed sensible to use the remainder of the afternoon to see a bit of the town. After all, it was the nation's Capitol. So off they went, catching a bus, wandering about to find a lunch spot, then tromping up the hill to take a few pics of the parliament buildings. But he had no energy for tours or for too much time in the hot sun; so before long, they were back at a bus stop waiting for their ride "home."

They took the evening to get settled and to complete a few preparations for the surgery, but getting to bed early seemed the highest priority. He and his wife prayed together before bed. This was all in God's hands - they both knew that. In fact, it was because of that fact that sleep came easily to him, unhindered by any nerves about what might come of all this. The only thing that was going to come of it was God's will being done. And as he went to sleep, he felt fairly sure that God had made it clear to him that He had more for him to do in this world on the other side of this surgery. He was certain that God wasn't going to let him get away with not living in the good of all He had been teaching this son of His throughout the many months of waiting for this surgery to come about. God would see him through. 

All three seemed to find it easy to wake up around 5am the next morning. Though it was still a dimly-lit summer morning, there was plenty of light and activity in their small apartment. Soon they were ready to walk over to the hospital. Everything seemed a little less new than yesterday, as they now knew their way through the many halls and tunnels without needing directions. But it still felt like newness was unfolding before them as they walked and arrived and prepared for this amazing experience that only God could have ever given man the ability to pursue. 

Eventually, the patient was ready, lying on a bed, waiting for a call from the operating room that all was ready. His wife, sitting beside him, asked if she could pray for him now. There was time to once again give everything over to their Father, asking Him to oversee the surgery and to guide the doctors' thoughts and hands. And then the phone rang. It was time. As they wheeled his bed out, they paused under a domed mirror in the ceiling above his bed. This was "perfect for a selfie," he said, and asked his wife for her phone. Feeling relaxed after clicking his silly shot, they headed for the elevators and down to the O.R. There was time for no further pauses now; just enough to kiss his wife, hug his daughter, and to wave as he was rolled away through one last set of doors. 

Here everything was busy, everyone bustling about a spacious room, each with a specific roll in that operating room. He did his best to look around and take it all in before he knew what would inevitably...

To say he awoke in the ICU would be an overstatement. It was more like he gradually regained a state of consciousness, and yes, he was eventually awake. But it took some hours. During the initial stages of this regaining of consciousness, although the able staff around him were all contentedly sure that everything was going well, it would be fair to say that the patient more or less resembled poor Jacob Marley breathing his last breaths in "A Christmas Carol", right down to the detail of whispering his words so softly, his eyes barely open, that his wife had to lean in with her ear next to his mouth to properly hear him. Out of this present-day patient's mouth came shaky heartfelt utterances like, "D'you have my wallet?", "Wow," and "Hi Amy (his daughter). I love you" repeated over and over. 

Once again, everything became a blur for the next 24 hours. They kept wanting his blood, or to print his heart rhythms, or to refresh one of the myriad I.V. bags. And always, the staff were pleased with how he was doing. His head felt more and more clear hour by hour as he took in his surroundings, yet never so clear as to be able to ever properly remember that room or its routines. There were too many beeping machines and busy people coming and going to recall it all. But once again, the blur became a snapshot when the surgeon came to visit. He wanted them to know that he was very happy with how it went, the valve was repaired, the patient was doing fine. 

There was so much to thank God for; so much to be pleased about. He had a new heart. He wondered at the wonder of it all. He pondered how this might impact his everyday life. Would the new strength he'd have mean new direction from the Lord? He didn't know yet, because before the everyday came today. For now, he simply needed to get stronger, to recover. This was only the beginning of his recovery, which would soon open the door to a brand new day of possibilities. 

© 2016 by Ken Peters

I'm having heart-surgery!

I'm about to have heart surgery! Go figure. I'm leaving town for heart surgery in a week, and the truth is, I've hardly thought about it. Don't get me wrong. I've been doing plenty of reflection these past six months. I haven't been to work since late December (!!), and yet, despite my physical limitations, I haven't wanted to waste this precious gift of so much time off. So I've been reading some really good books that I've felt God direct me to read. I'm presently on my 11th devotional book since February, and I'm journaling what I learn from each one. God's been touching lots of character stuff. Click here if you'd like to see my 2016 reading list. 

But lately I've felt as though the Holy Spirit has been nudging me – trying to get my attention – wanting me to reflect a little more on what's been happening with my heart. I've gotten the feeling that He's been wanting to emphasize a specific lesson I'm meant to learn from this health issue, as though there's more going on than what I see with my eyes and see in my schedule. So I decided to look some things up. Feel free to be amazed that I hadn't done this sooner, but I went to a couple websites to check out how they described what my cardiologist said my problem was. Here's what I found:

Mitral valve regurgitation is a condition in which your heart's mitral valve doesn't close tightly, allowing blood to flow backward in your heart. As a result, blood can't move through your heart or to the rest of your body as efficiently, making you feel tired or out of breath. If regurgitation is severe, increased pressure may result in congestion (or fluid build-up) in the lungs, and the heart may become enlarged in order to maintain forward flow of blood. This may produce symptoms ranging from fatigue, shortness of breath during exertion, coughing, congestion around the heart and lungs, heart palpitations, and arrhythmia, and can potentially lead to heart failure.

Treatment of mitral valve regurgitation depends on how severe your condition is, whether it's getting worse and whether you have symptoms. For mild leakage, treatment may not be necessary. For severe leakage or regurgitation, you may need heart surgery to repair or replace the valve. Left untreated, severe mitral valve regurgitation can cause heart failure or heart rhythm problems (arrhythmia) that will create an increased risk of blood clots that may cause a stroke.

Wow. Sounds pretty serious. And I've experienced all of those symptoms since December, and would be considered in the "severe" category. Yet those details fill me with gratitude, because if it hadn't been for the endocarditis I had this past winter – an infection in the lining of your heart that will either damage or (as in my case) worsen previously damaged heart valves – we may not have discovered that the regurgitation in my heart had become life-threateningly severe until it was too late. Thank you Lord!

But I sensed that the Holy Spirit wanted me to look beyond what's been happening to my physical heart. I feel like He's been helping me to see how there's more going on than meets the eye, and how I'm receiving more than one kind of heart surgery during this time off.

It was then that I wondered – if you'll permit the analogy – that if we all have physical heart valves that receive life-giving blood for our bodies, what would be our spiritual heart valves that receive the life-giving blood of Jesus? And what would it mean if our spiritual heart valves were regurgitating, or resisting, the life-giving blood that was meant to be flowing through them? What would cause that?

The Gospel of John has many references, from start to finish, to the spiritual "life" that Jesus came to bring. In chapter one, we see that "In Him [Jesus] was life..." (1:4), and near the end we see that "these things have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name" (20:31). The many references to the life found in Jesus that occur between those two verses frequently mention what we see in John 20:31, that it is by "believing" in Jesus, and in what He has done for us, that we experience the spiritual life flow He wants us to enjoy both now and for eternity (see 3:15; 5:24-26; 6:35, 40, 47 for some examples). But John also mentions another aspect of how we receive life from Jesus, and that is to "come" to Him (see 5:40; 6:37, 44). John 6:35 mentions both: "Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.'" 

That would mean then that the spiritual life flow of Jesus would be restricted when we fall prey to unbelief and unwillingness. So according to my analogy, spiritual heart valve regurgitation would be unbelief and unwillingness. And that would mean that the valves of our spiritual heart would be our mind and our will. You can also be sure that the symptoms of this heart condition would also lead to death if left untreated.

If this analogy is valid, then for anyone experiencing severe spiritual heart valve regurgitation, it is imperative that we give attention to our mind and to our will. We may even need the Lord to do surgery on them. And that is why I believe that the first passage that came to my mind (without any sense of context) when I first began sensing the Holy Spirit nudging me regarding all this was Romans 12:1-2, which says, "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." This speaks of both our will and our mind being totally surrendered to God for His purposes, which is what Scripture teaches us is truly living. 

I believe there are two clear applications from all this, and they just happen to be the very same two things that God has very lovingly been persuading me to focus on these past six months. By God's grace, both my prayer life, and my reading and study schedule have flourished since recovering from the endocarditis in February. Prayer and reading/study.

It is by prayer that we repent of our independence and submit our will to God. John Piper wrote that “Prayer is the antidote for the disease of self-confidence.” It is the act of "waiting for God – acknowledging our helplessness and His power, calling upon Him for help, seeking His counsel.” An active prayer life allows God to operate on the spiritual heart valve of our will. It is how we can increasingly "come" to God, presenting ourselves to Him as living sacrifices, flexing our will to continually wait on God. 

And it is by reading and studying and memorizing God's Word, as well as reading books by godly writers, that we can grow in our knowledge of God and His ways, so that our mind can thus be transformed. A well-planned reading schedule of both the Bible and of other books allows God to operate on the spiritual heart valve of our mind. It is how we can increasingly "believe" God, our mind being transformed by His living word, as we fill our mind with His truth.

So please join me in receiving spiritual heart surgery every day as we wait on the Lord in prayer and learn from Him in His Word. It will save our lives, as well as give us His life!

© 2016 by Ken Peters

Insert happy face here.

Sometimes you don't know how meaningful an item is to you until you lose it, or break it. Like the thing I broke the other day. I don't even want to say what it is, it's so trivial, but when I broke it, my day suddenly became sad (insert sad face here). And the annoying thing is that it happened in the middle of a time that I had set aside to seek God, and then I got distracted by this thing – the thing that I broke (insert sad face here). Even the next day, I sat down to spend time with God again, and I noticed the broken item (because I still had it) and it made me feel sad again (insert another sad face here). And that got me thinking...

How important is this thing to me? And for that matter, how important is any other thing to me? When I felt the pang of sadness the second day, I knew I had to deal with it once and for all, and I began praising God for the many things that really matter, like knowing Him, and for all the benefits of knowing Him, such as what David lists in Psalm 103. I also made sure that I told God how low I wanted this broken item to be on my List-of-Things-I-Value. In other words it shouldn't matter that it has a small crack in it. There are more important things to dwell on!

Then it occurred to me that I had recently seen an online list of books on a specific subject that had been rated from best to, well... not best. There were three sections to the list. First, it had the books that had been deemed worthy of a numerical rating. Then it carried on with books that were worth including but hadn't seemed good enough for a numerical rating. And then it mentioned books that weren't officially included in the list but were noted at the bottom. And, of course, there must be other books on this subject that weren't even mentioned (Sorry; thanks for playing!). If I had such a list of all the best things in my life, I'm afraid the item that I broke the other day wouldn't make the list! Not even a note about it at the bottom. And yet breaking it made me sad for two days. How shallow is that?!

Then today as I was reading Psalm 137 in my Bible, I came across this phrase: "May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth [in song] if I do not remember you, if I do not exalt Jerusalem above my chief joy!" (Psalm 137:6). Craig Boyles writes, "We must not misunderstand this passionate attachment to Jerusalem as a mere reflection of cultural identity or nostalgia. In the context of the Songs of Zion, Jerusalem had been where Israel met with God." Jerusalem stood for covenant with God, the presence of God, the place to worship God; it represented God's dwelling place, His kingship, His atonement, His forgiveness – and every "benefit" David encouraged God's people to remember (see Psalm 103:2ff)! And yet as I had gathered myself to enjoy my King in my own place of worship, some petty item that hadn't even made my list of things I value in life threatened to make me sad. In other words, it tried to make itself "my chief joy" so as to compete with my joy of meeting with Jesus.

And how often does that happen? Probably more often than we'd like. How often do we allow less important things – things that may seem super important at the time, and may have even caught us by surprise – crowd our hearts, seeking to make themselves so important that they distract us from our time with God and diminish our joy in Him? Such things are not meant to become our "chief joys" placed high on the list of things we value. The top of such a list should be reserved only for such things that can never be broken and never be taken away from us: the love of God, the faithfulness of God, the promises of God, and so much more! 

So if that ever happens to you – if something of little or lesser importance ends up robbing you of time with the God you love and of the joy He wants to give you – do something about it! Forbid it from becoming a "chief joy" by putting it where it belongs on (or off) your List-of-Things-You-Value, remind your soul that God is your highest joy, and ask God to insert a happy face where the joy of the Lord belongs in your heart! He'll do it. He promises.

"You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever!"

Psalm 16:11

© 2016 by Ken Peters

Reflections on a photo

After taking the above photo of a highway near my house and workplace, my friend Andrew invited me to write a poem about it. The thought had never occurred to me, but I thought I'd give it a try. As I pondered where to begin, I began to see things in the photo that the Lord had been speaking to me about for many months - perhaps years. The title is based on a quote from a movie in which the title character suddenly says, "I've come to the end of myself." What a great place that is to find oneself, for only there will we find true fullness in Jesus!

The end of myself

I’m done, he breathed

As he raced on and on

Unsure why,

Unsure where,

Comforted only

By the familiarity

Of a repeated path,

A repeated task,

That left his mark

Upon a familiar plain.

I’m done, he sighed

As he pressed on and on

Looking up,

Looking beyond

The lights too low,

Seeming stars that only

Imitated the One

He longed to see

And touch amidst

The unfamiliar void.

I’m done, he rejoiced

As he followed on and on

Sensing Him,

Sensing Life

In the One who

Shines so brightly,

Brighter than all

Competing lights,

Who says, “It is finished!”

As He looks upon our hearts.

© 2016 by Ken Peters

What about the others?!

I'm fascinated by the story of Jesus visiting the pool of Bethesda in John, chapter 5. That's why I wrote a post a couple days ago in which I sought to dramatize the scene, followed by some liberties I took at the end. The reason I took those liberties was to draw attention to the intriguing fact that Jesus appeared to heal just one individual amidst a "multitude" of others who were all in desperate need (v.3), leaving the rest of them untouched and unhealed, somewhat like the way He chooses to save each of us amidst so many others around us who still need saving.

This leaves me with the same question every time I read this story: Why? Why didn't Jesus heal any others there that day? Why heal only one man, and then "withdraw" from the multitude that was there (v.13)? After all, Bethesda does mean "House of Mercy." That just doesn't sound like the Jesus I know. This is the same Jesus who when He tried to withdraw to a secluded place to grieve the loss of John the Baptist, and was followed by a multitude of over 5,000 people, Matthew writes that Jesus "felt compassion for them and healed their sick" – and then He fed them! (Matthew 14:13-14) So why withdraw from a multitude of desperately sick people at the pool called Bethesda after healing only one person?

Well, the answer to that question may point directly to the cross on which Jesus would provide a way of salvation for the healing of the entire human race! Is it possible that Jesus' purpose in healing that one man that day was to set in motion His redemptive plan for the multitude that fills an entire planet?

There's more to this story than the extraordinary healing of a man who had been lame for 38 years (v.5). I'm sure that Jesus knew as He approached the pool that He would find a great many sick people there, and I'm also sure that Jesus knew that He was visiting the pool on the Sabbath day. John points this out to his readers immediately after writing that the newly healed man did as Jesus instructed him to do and picked up his bed and walked. He then wrote, "And that day was the Sabbath" (v.9). Boom! Cue the foreboding music. This was the first time Jesus had openly violated the Sabbath in Jerusalem.

John then immediately explains that some of Jerusalem's Jewish leaders noticed the man carrying his bed on the Sabbath, something expressly forbidden by the 39^th of 39 work-categories in the Mishnah, which was the written interpretation of the Mosaic Law. 

So the Jewish leaders who saw the man said to him, "'It is the Sabbath; it is not lawful for you to carry your bed.' He answered them, 'He who made me well said to me, "Take up your bed and walk."' Then they asked him, 'Who is the Man who said to you, "Take up your bed and walk"?'" (vv.10-12). He didn't know, because Jesus had withdrawn. In other words, Jesus didn't go to the pool to heal the many sick who were there, as He would do just before feeding the 5,000, but to heal just one man, and to thereby get the attention of the Jewish authorities.

The Jewish reaction was swift and extreme. Once the Jews found out it had been Jesus, John writes: "For this reason the Jews persecuted Jesus, and sought to kill him, because He had done these things on the Sabbath." (v.16)

This happened very early in Jesus' ministry. Most place it in the early part of his first year of ministry, and already the Jews in Jerusalem wanted to kill Him. This would not have taken Jesus by surprise. I believe this was a calculated act, in obedience to His Father. It was a miracle designed to get the attention of the Jewish leaders who would eventually be instrumental in God's redemptive plan: they would be key players in ensuring that Jesus was crucified.

And in light of the strategic nature of this particular miracle, I think it's worth noting a few things about the man who was healed. He never asked Jesus to heal him, nor did he even directly answer Jesus (yes or no) when Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed. And then he sought to save his own skin among the Jewish leaders by being the one to eventually report Jesus to them once he realized it was Jesus who had healed him and had told him to break the so-called Sabbath rules (and he was only able to report Jesus because Jesus intentionally revealed Himself to him again and urged him to "sin no more" (v.14-15)). This was not a grateful man. He was a self-preserving man at Jesus' expense, which suited Jesus's purposes just fine, for Jesus wanted to upset the Jewish leaders.

So what are we to think of all this? I believe Jesus saw His own death in the healing of this ungrateful sinner (a man not unlike ourselves, lest we be too hard on him). And I believe Jesus healed this man primarily to begin the process that would result in His death for the salvation of a desperately needy world. Jesus had the world in mind at that House of Mercy, not just the people present.

If we continue reading John 5 and see the many things that Jesus said in response to the Jewish leaders' persecution of Him, we would see how Jesus emphasized His unity and oneness with God the Father and with all the Father's eternal purposes. These purposes surely included His plan of salvation, and perhaps that is what Jesus had in mind when He said that the Father "will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel" (v.20). 

So to return to my original question of what about all those other poor hurting people at the pool called Bethesda – why couldn't they be healed? The answer is that Jesus certainly had them in mind when He healed one man among them so as to set in motion a plan that would take Him to the cross for them all. When Jesus appears to be ignoring our needs, we can be certain that He hasn't forgotten us – He's simply after a higher purpose in our lives!  And Jesus would also want us to know that if He could choose one ungrateful man to be healed as He pursued God's overall plan, we can be sure that we will not be disqualified by our own selfish sinfulness as we look to Him who saves and heals us from all our sins.

© 2016 by Ken Peters

Do you want to be healed?

Imagine that you're wandering through Jerusalem in the days when Jesus walked the earth, and you come upon an unusual scene. But before you see it, you hear it, and then you can smell it. Nothing can prepare you for this, though for the local people, it's an uncomfortable reality that they're well acquainted with.

You first hear the sound as you approach a row of columns that are parallel to the road you're walking down, but you can't yet see what's on the other side of them. At first you're not sure you heard right, as you can barely make sense of it amidst the competing sounds of the city: a chorus of baa'ing from the nearby sheep market, the haggling among the many sellers nearby, a donkey braying in the distance, a group of men arguing heatedly over some land title over by the Sheep Gate. But as you get closer, the sound becomes more recognizable. It's the sound of moaning; moans mingled with occasional cries that sound like prayers of painful desperation. In fact, it sounds as though many people must be in pain. Curiosity draws you closer until you notice the smell. You wonder what it could be as your senses are assaulted by the awful stench of infection mixed with body odour in the stifling heat. You've now walked close enough to begin seeing between the columns, and as you draw closer, an unforgettable scene opens up before you. On the other side of the columns, you see what appears to be a multitude of beggars in ragged clothes lying on several sizable porches – no, there are five porches, each with a roof overhead, all of them surrounding a pool of water, and each one crowded with sickly, crippled and even paralyzed people! Some are blind, many clearly can't walk, and others have bloodstained bandages that barely cover their broken limbs. Your eyes fill with tears as you wonder who all these people are, and why there are so many of them lingering here by these waters.

The place you have discovered is Bethesda (John 5:2-4), which in the local language of Aramaic means, "House of Mercy." But considering the scene before you, it would be fair for you to wonder why this horrible place of pain would be referred to as a place of mercy. According to local lore, it is said that in certain seasons, an angel of the Lord visits this pool and stirs the waters, and then whoever first steps into the water after the angel has stirred it will be made well from whatever ails him or her. That sounds like mercy. But considering the multitude of suffering people who wait for this precious moment, the sense of desperation and impending disappointment is palpable in this place.

As you gaze over this morbid scene, covering your mouth and nose with your hand and listening to the groans that are now unmistakable, your heart is overcome with sorrow and with hopelessness. But then suddenly you see movement nearby – about a dozen men are approaching the multitude just a few columns away. And then one of the men in that group crouches down to talk to a man on a mat, and you can just make out their brief conversation.

The man crouching down puts his hand gently on the lame man's forehead as He softly asks him, "Are you here because you want to be healed?"

The invalid replies, "Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." (John 5:7)

And then suddenly, and without warning, the man crouching beside this sad, defeated man says, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk!" (John 5:8)

You're taken aback at this, and the initial expression of shock you see on that poor crippled man's face reflects your own reaction to this unexpected demand! What could this man be thinking in being so bold?! By the way that crippled man's bony legs look, he hasn't walked in years – even decades! But then as you watch the man on the mat stare into the gentle eyes of this unusual stranger, he begins to stir. A smile begins to spread across the stranger's face as He extends His hands and begins to stand from His crouching position. You watch in awe as the crippled man takes His hands and struggles to kneel. As he does so, you do a double-take as you see his legs thickening with muscles that appear to be forming before your very eyes! Soon the man is tentatively standing, grinning from ear to ear, but unsure where to look! First at this stranger's beaming face, then at his newly strengthened legs, and then back at the joyful face of this man who has done the impossible! Soon the newly healed man is comfortable enough to stoop down and pick up his mat, and with a cheer, excitedly set off, likely for home, you suppose.

One man's life, among a multitude of others, unexpectedly chosen and forever changed. You're left open-mouthed, still staring at the amazing man who worked that great miracle, and suddenly he looks your way and catches your eye with a smile on His face. "Do you want to be healed?" He asks. 

And your heart leaps with a great yes! You imagine what it would mean to be well from all that ails you – not only from an illness that's lingered far too long now, but also from the sin that so easily besets you, the ruts you can't get out of, the weaknesses you've been unable to overcome! Perhaps this House of Mercy is actually a place where we all belong, a place that reflects the realities in all our souls, a place where we can meet this wonderful man who stands before you now, looking gently into your eyes and asking with the conviction of One who can save you, "Do you want to be healed?"

© 2016 by Ken Peters

That look...

Have you ever gotten that look? You know, that look from someone close to you – whether it be a spouse or a boss or a parent or a teacher – after you've just done something really bad? I mean, you really blew it, and then they turn and look at you with a disappointed or even an angry expression – or worse, that resigned "I knew it" look in their eyes as they shake their head at you. Have you ever gotten that look? I have, and I've even wondered at times if God ever gives me that look too.

So how then shall we interpret the look that the Lord gave Peter in Luke, chapter 22? Peter had just blown it big-time! He had denied Jesus three times, finally deceitfully exclaiming that he doesn't know what people are talking about (Luke 22:60a) and even going so far as to curse and swear to make his point (Matthew 26:74). Then Luke writes, "Immediately, while he [Peter] was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, 'Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.' So Peter went out and wept bitterly" (Luke 22:60b-62).

Somehow, Jesus was able to see Peter, and it sounds likely that their eyes met for at least a brief moment before Peter rushed away in tears. What was the expression in Jesus' eyes? Was it "that look" we've received from others in our lives?  I don't think so.

I think we can be reasonably certain that the look in Jesus's eyes wouldn't have been a harsh or condemning look, because the night before, not only did Jesus tell Peter it was going to happen (Luke 22:34), but He even sought to encourage Peter about it (Luke 22:31-32). He said, ³¹"Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³²But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren." It's worth noting that the Greek word "you" in verse 31 is plural, but singular in verse 32. In other words, Satan wanted to cause trouble to all of Jesus' disciples, but Jesus singled out Peter (who was also named Simon) as the one He wanted to use to encourage and rally the others.

So even though Jesus knew Peter would fail Him, He still had high expectations for him. That's why I don't believe Jesus looked at Peter with surprise or even with disappointment or anger. I believe He looked at Peter with a loving and imploring gaze, probably even with a prayer in His heart for Peter, confident that he was going to repent and return to Him a new, and humbled, man.

I also think that Jesus looks at us the same way when we blow it. That's how big His love is for each of us. He knows we're going to make mistakes – sometimes big mistakes. And even though Jesus knows that Satan wants to mess with us, He doesn't necessarily pray that Satan will leave us alone. He prays instead, just as He did for Peter, that our faith won't fail. For even though sin and Satan will cause us to stumble, Jesus is certain that the plans and purposes He has for each of us – good works prepared long ago for us to walk in (Ephesians 2:10) – are still going to be fulfilled for all who turn back to Him in humility. 

So when you blow it, don't put your head down to avoid Jesus' gaze. Look up, and look for the expression in His eyes – for that loving look that will lead us to brokenhearted repentance and restoration. You will see His face as you read and study the Bible, God's Word, for Jesus is the Word of God in bodily form (John 1:14). And the look you discover in His Word will be one of love and understanding and encouragement to return to Him, confident that as you do, there will be a place for you in His heart and in His plans!

© 2016 by Ken Peters